Erin’s vehicle, a van really, is a modified version of the enclosed carriage that you see everywhere. It doesn’t have a horse, obviously, but I happened to find these glorious porcelain equines that I mounted into the front hood of the entire thing. Because she wanted speed and stability–I suspect to transport heavy and illegal goods across town–I built it low to the ground on a modified GWF chassis. The wheels are only a half meter height, but there are three of them on each side. Solid rubber and brass wheel rims.
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This weekend, I got to the second convention this year: ICON 34. I haven’t been to ICON since 1997 and it was a much different beast than I remembered. I got used to GenCon’s massive nature that the small town sci-fi convention.
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I seem to be drifting from Kingdom of Loathing lately. Actually, I started to work on some libraries, then completely lost interest in it. I haven’t really wanted to log into it for a few weeks now and I haven’t really missed it. I already knew that sooner or later I would get bored/frustrated with it, I just forgot how fast that feeling can hit me. And, the very nature of looking into the depths of the system just accelerated the process.
One thing is that KoL, while a fun and snarky game, is still a magpie game for me. I run around to get lots of little things, just to get my rating up for the most items collected, but it really doesn’t do anything. Outside of the game, there is nothing for all that effort I spent. I donated to the game, because I was having fun, but I just hit this point where the grind ceased to be fun.
(Interestingly, this is also why I don’t write fanfics anymore either. I can’t really… do anything with them beside write and post.)
But, I did get some really good idea for writing a game to add to my list of the “perfect game”. Not sure if I’ll ever actually write this game, since I’m sort of trying to focus on writing and college right now, but I can say that I don’t regret the time or money I spent, I’m just done for the time being.
I feel like Cinderella right now. Trying to get all my chores done before ICON starts. I’m missing the first night, that’s tonight, but I had too many things to be done to really enjoy it. Not to mention, my car is in the shop so I’d have to walk to the hotel to enjoy it. Instead, I’m hoping to get all my chores and homework done in time so Fluffy can drop me off two hours before the convention to let me blow my entire day at the hotel.
I’m mostly looking forward to it and desperately hoping that I don’t:
- Put my foot in my mouth.
- Say stupid wanna-be writer things that always seem to get out.
- Do the wrong thing at the wrong time
I already have that pre-convention regret that I haven’t gotten anything published yet. I so much want to be a writer, to be one of those shining stars at the convention, but… it still isn’t the time for me. Maybe next time, well, probably not. The odds of getting “properly published” by GenCon at this point are pretty much nil. But, it still won’t stop me from trying. I like getting published. I love that high you get with the acceptance letter and the even greater high when you finally hold the book in your own hand.
Self-publishing is good for the second part, but it isn’t nearly as intense when it comes from someone else. I like that high, probably the only one I really allow myself to enjoy.
But, a house to clean, homework to write, research to do, and Resident Evil on the video player. And I’m only a few long hours for having my own little Cinderella story.
Been an interesting week for me. Got a little burned out with heavy working. As typical, overtime has a specific, well, half-life before it becomes ineffective. In my case, three weeks of working 12-15 hour days is about the limit of my ability. After that, I start to get fuzzy and lose my ability to really solve problems quickly. That said, I think I’ve done an amazing amount of work in the last few weeks and I’m pretty proud of what I have created.
Fluffy is, as she has a right to be, unhappy with the amount of work I’ve been doing. I’ve already proven that I’m less than talented at stopping when I’m obsessing and she is my 2×4 to prevent me from burning out. It starts off with “I’m unhappy” and if I keep pushing it, sooner or later, she’ll basically club me over the head and pull me off the computer, kicking and screaming. I haven’t gotten to that point, but I know it’s there.
Writing-wise, working out some of the style of Fedran. My Oile series isn’t quite perfect, I haven’t found a proper voice for it, but I’m getting happier with it as I keep on writing. I already knew that it wouldn’t be a masterpiece but more of a stepping stool to something else. I already have the basic plot prepare for the plot and I’ll probably finish after that. Then, either work on another short series or something more substantial.
It is hard working on a vacuum. Like most of my creative works, people don’t read or comment much. I asked Fluffy, but she doesn’t like it. Oh well, maybe someday I’ll find that spark again. The problem is, I try too hard to be successful and that really isn’t the way to do it. I’m trying hard not to focus on that and just work on writing; I want to be better and the only way to do is to paraphrase Dori from Finding Nemo:
Just keep swimming… just keep swimming…
Been a few weeks, sorry about that. Got distracted with too many things, the first being these damn blueprints. I think I figured it out, the angles and lengths simply don’t add up. I found spots in the design that are simply and utterly wrong. I spent five days just tracing out those damn specifications, building up some set of formulas that would make them right.
Mind-boggling difficult work, I’d like you to know.
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Some years ago, I was dancing at my cousin Andy’s wedding with a woman I didn’t really know besides her near-obsession with cows and the fact she dances to “Earl Must Die” at her own wedding (best wedding song I’ve heard). It was one of those “pay to dance with the bride” things which I didn’t really knew existed and didn’t know what to do. Fortunately, I’m a fairly decent dancer (I used to love ballroom dancing).
But, we talked briefly about things, then something came up.
When I saw your RSVP, I didn’t know who it was at first. Then Andy remembered, you are the ‘lost cousin’.
Lost cousin. That hit me in a lot of ways. I don’t call people often. I have trouble sending emails or letters. I don’t give out Christmas cards or birthday cards. I’ve gotten a lot of flak over the years about that but it wasn’t anything I really felt the need to change.
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I just realized, there is something wrong with these blueprints. After working on them for a few weeks, I’ve managed to rebuild three sections of it. The first time, I thought I just skipped a section or two, but the second and third… I realize that these numbers aren’t right. I mean, the lengths in section 2.3.434.23 are ten times larger than the ones in 2.3.434. I mean, 2.3.434 includes 23, but no matter how many times I built it, it simply won’t work.
Plus there are parts missing. Entire sections are missing from these blueprints and I can’t figure out where the inlets and outlets are coming from this device. I think I can make it work, but it simply doesn’t do anything.
What is wrong with it? I mean, it is absolutely beautiful work but I’m getting this feeling that it is just that… art. It looks pretty but it doesn’t work. It almost sickens me. I strive to build things that help people, and while my plans aren’t “pretty” they are functional.
I take pride in that.
You know what? I think I’m going to sneak out and get buzzed tonight.
Two years ago at GenCon, I wandered by this lovely little desk in the Author’s Alley that had a huge pile of books. I only picked up one of them at the time… something I normally do since I usually take a year to get through the meter-high stack of books I pick up at that convention. Then, I reviewed Elfhunter by C.S. Marks. The next year, I picked up Fire-Heart and finally got a chance to polish off the book. I also have the third, because I enjoyed the first one, but that is sitting at the bottom of my reading list just to give the rest of them a chance at a review.
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I know I told myself I wouldn’t work hard over the weekend, but it happened again. I managed to get all the defects assigned to me done by the cut-off, but I took on two more that ended up being a lot more complicated than I expected. The last one left is making me very nervous, but it has to be done. I know it has to be done, but it still makes me nervous.
It also reminds me that there is a flaw in the masking tape programmer. Related to the duct tape programmer, I would see the masking tape programmer as someone who thinks they are worth of the duct tape title, but don’t have the sheer skill to really put it off. The type of developer who throws something together that pretty much falls apart if you sneeze too hard. In Joe’s comment, “you aren’t good enough” is pretty much the masking tape programmer.
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