Kin-Killer

Sand and Blood 21-22, Flight of the Scions 27, powers, and secrets

2016-07-27T05:00:00Z

This is a rather long post about superpowers, being the weakest, and learning secrets. There is a lot here, but there really is no unifying theme between the three chapters posted this week.

There are two chapters from Sand and Blood to make up for me skipping last week because I was overwhelmed.

Sand and Blood 21: From the Shadows

One of the reviews I got for Sand and Blood was scope of the individual's struggles and what powers they gain. While Rutejìmo is going through a journey of self-discovery, the others are gaining phenomenal powers. This and the next chapter are a good example of that. Rutejìmo is struggling with self-doubt with his poor showing at the fight with Mikáryo when he finds out that Tsubàyo can teleport through shadows on a horse, Chimípu can burst into flames when she flights, and even Pidòhu is capable of summoning the shadows of a wind spirit.

As I have stated, this was a story about being the guy next to the Chosen One (Chimípu). It is about learning to accept weaknesses and find out that there is life in not being the greatest, strongest, and fastest.

Some of this is pulled from my own life. While some people think I'm good at things (programming, obscure knowledge), I am very weak in some critical skills in life. The two obvious ones are my inability to know what emotion I'm feeling except through inference and my inability to recognize people.

That last one has caused me a lot of trouble over the years, not to mention a lot of mocking. My ability to identify someone is fragile enough that makeup is enough for me to not recognized someone. When a coworker dyed his hair last week, I spent three hours struggling with this feeling that he was a complete stranger.

This came into the foreground during the author signing on the 16th. My table mate was an older man who still recognized and remembered his teachers and friends from grade school. And a number of them came up and they talked about the good times while I sat quietly remembering how I couldn't even recoganize my own son just because he had a growth spurt. Or the guilt I feel when I'm going on a date with my wife and shes put on makeup; I think I'm having an affair. Intellectually I know that it is the same person, but it still feels wrong.

For years, I had another coworker who had this amazing ability to remember people. He could remember their names, their histories, and their families. It was practically a superpower for me because I was happy when I remembered his name after a week. He chided me “just to remember” but the techniques he's given, the ones I've read, the years of trying haven't produced that much. I am trying, I just don't recognized anyone.

This isn't diminish the sheer amount of stress that I went through on my trip to visit the family a few years back. I honestly was terrified I wouldn't recognized my own aunt when she picked me up at the airport. Thankfully, she called and told me she was pulling up… that helped a lot.

I've tried to break through this but it is a major struggle. While others are steadily increasing their writing skills and fan bases, I'm trying to recognized my son's teacher. This is kind of what I tried to write with Rutejìmo's struggle with himself while the others are gaining all these powers; it's a humiliating experience and downright depressing.

As another side, I remember smells and voices a lot better. I can't understand words a lot (a different problem) but I usually identify actors on the TV by their voices more than anything else. And I have this really strange sense of smell that has helped me a lot, even when folks change their cologne or perfume, it is a really strong mnemonic for me.

There is also a darker tone to this chapter: when Chimípu and Rutejìmo talk about growing old. Chimípu points out that there is only one warrior in the clan who ever “retired.” The rest were killed, usually from a fight. This is actually a nod to some events in Sand and Bone.

Read Sand and Blood 21: From the Shadows at https://fedran.com/sand-and-blood/chapter-21/.

Sand and Blood 22: Shadows From Sunlight

I like stories with power discoveries, as long as they aren't repeated constantly (Spider-Man and Superman both come to mind). I always felt that Rutejìmo's powers came really quickly (the day they were abandoned) but earlier post talk about how forced ignorance actually helps with the this process. He was left specifically in an infantile state just so he would manifest the strongest powers possible. Of course, we don't find out that one reason he was weak was because he actually has the powers of two spirits.

Pidòhu, on the other hand, knew exactly what was going on. So it has taken him this long to even get a hint of power from his clan spirit, Tateshyúso. Having the second spirit was an interesting challenge. While Shimusògo grants the ability to run at high speed, throwing fireballs, and kinetic transfer, I needed Tateshyúso to be complementary but still powerful. Most of her powers don't show up in this book but they have wind control and wind form. Their biggest strength is the ability to take on a elemental-like form that travels in the wind and lets them keep up with the Shimusògo runners.

Of everyone in this book, Pidòhu is actually the second most powerful character. He's the “priest/mage” if I was writing about a gaming group. Chimípu is closer to a paladin/holy champion if you went with the idea of being a champion of a specific god/spirit. But for all his power, he still starts weak and growing in power over time.

Read Sand and Blood 22: Shadows From Sunlight at https://fedran.com/sand-and-blood/chapter-22/.

Flight of the Scions 27: Change of Clothes

On the other side, in Flight of the Scions, Kanéko learns about the villain that I fired from this book. When I first wrote the book, there were two major plots woven together, hers and Garèo's. Since I switched to a single point of view novel, Garèo's part has been deferred until his own book, Kin-Killer. It will be a few years before that book every has a chance to be revealed.

But until then, Kanéko is learning that her annoying instructor killed his own family, had a major bounty on his head, and someone wanted him to stab him with an unnamed sword.

This chapter also introduces one of the antagonists for the next book, Pack Daughter. Again, in the original version of Flight, I actually identify “Las” with a couple scenes with Sinmak. But with Kanéko's limited point of view, the reader actually doesn't know who they are until it is revealed later.

Read Flight of the Scions 27: Change of Clothes https://fedran.com/flight-of-the-scions/chapter-27/ (subscribers)

Patrons

More so in the near future than the past, my writing is supported by patrons and donations. Releasing the books as Creative Commons means you can read it before you buy it. If you like it, then consider donating money or subscribing to have access to all my drafts and published novels.

Sand and Ash

Speaking of releasing books, Sand and Ash is now out! The entire book has been completed and posted, along with EPUB, MOBI, and PDF versions. It is also on various online stores, in print, and generally spread out to everywhere but a single vendor (Smashwords).

Some of them charge $0.99 for a copy because I couldn't make it free, but there is a free version on the link above. Please read it and tell me what you think. If you like it, then buy a print version, become a patron, or throw me some dollars. If you don't want to spend money, please review it.

This is a terrifying point. As the last few years of Sand and Blood has pointed out, I don't have a lot of readers. There are a few awesome folks who have read it and reviewed it, but I'm lucky to get a book sold a month after a peak of less than twenty books on month. So many other authors talk about making dozens or hundreds of sales a month. I'm happy to have one.

Making it free doesn't mean I skimped on it. I paid for two editors to go through the books and had a dozen people reading it. I've worked on this novel for years and dropped a large hunk of change on it to make it the best possible book I could produce. I just hope that I wrote something moving enough that it will bring someone joy (and tears) in the end.

Sand and Blood 11, Flight of the Scions 17, Sand and Ash status, abusive relationships, telepaths, and economics

2016-04-27T05:00:00Z

As it sometimes happens, there is no commonality between these two serials. Remarkably, this is also where you can see the difference between the two protagonists. Rutejìmo is introspective and somewhat passive, he makes a lot of mistakes and doubts himself. Kanéko, on the other hand, doesn't hesitate long before coming up with a plan, even if it ends up being a mistake. She may not have magic, but she's observant and bright.

Sand and Blood 11: Standing Alone

There is a point in most people's lives where they are at home getting ready for bed or making dinner when they realized they had just made a terrible mistake. They didn't think about it at the time, they just responded, but introspection forces them to reliving the experience and point out every flaw in their being.

This is Rutejìmo's chapter for that. He isn't a bad guy, per se. I see him as not trusting himself, terrified of making waves, or even speaking out for himself. The kernel of being a hero is there, just buried a bit. Obviously, there are some rather oppressive folks he's traveling with. Tsubàyo is right near the top of the people who are most likely to abuse Rutejìmo.

But, why would he go with his bully instead of staying behind? Why would someone willingly go into an abusive relationship? Well, there are a lot of reasons. Rutejìmo was guilty for what he did to Pidòhu or, more importantly, what he felt he was responsible for letting Pidòhu get hurt. There was also the unfamiliar situation where Tsubàyo was a known (the devil you know) but the others weren't. It is hard to break out of a relationship even when others say it is terrible for you.

I occasionally hear someone wondering why someone else would go back to abusive husband or a cruel boss. I think it is the same way. There is a known factor, a rut that has been worn down that gives someone a sense of being even though it is a painful route. There is more than “well, I would just leave.” No, not always. Sometimes, it is just as painful to leave as being verbally or physically abused. It takes a lot to pull away, either it be fear of the unknown, protectiveness of a child (how will I pay for them if I don't have…), or any other factors.

It is rarely as simple as “well, I would have left.”

More importantly, it is cruel to tell someone “you should just leave” as if it was that simple. If it is that important, the better question is, “what can I do for you?” or “how can I help?”

Read Sand and Blood 11: Separate Ways at https://fedran.com/sand-and-blood/chapter-11/.

Flight of the Scions 17: Nobody

For a four thousand word chapters, there is a lot in here.

I'll start with the easiest: racism. While I made Kanéko brown, it was only a small part of her character. I didn't want a story about the evils of racism, I wanted a story about a young girl who finds herself in the middle of nowhere and finds kinship where she didn't expect it. But, the color of her skin is there and people respond to it because I think that is how people would. Racism is there, it just isn't the point of this novel.

There is also Maris. I love her. She's adorable, sweet, and brutal. Even though she and Kanéko had a fight, here she is kicking the crap out of people and helping without hesitation. She has no grudges but she's also mercurial to say the least. Her innocence, in many ways, is a great foil to Ruben's seriousness and Kanéko's struggles of being different (racism, lack of magic, being the baron's daughter).

Mixed in there is economics. Ten thousand crowns is basically ten thousand dollars, a rather significant sum. However, given the distance this village is from the rest of the cities, I'm treating the average income of the farmers to be closer to subsidence farmers who are happy if they make a thousand a year beyond feeding themselves. A ten thousand reward for Kanéko, for them, is a lot of money. Probably on the order of someone giving someone in Cedar Rapids a hundred grand.

Even though Sarom Senior knows it is wrong, it is hard to turn down doubling everyone's income for an entire year for the price of one frightened young girl. Obviously, Sarom Junior wouldn't have a problem because he thinks she isn't really human, but there were some cut scenes that talk about the repercussions of their decisions.

This has a bit of spoilers:

The last point is Ruben power and Kanéko's lack of magic. This is important because Ruben is a telepath and he was looking for Kanéko. Even though she doesn't have magic, Kanéko is receptive to telepaths. Her receptivity isn't magic, it's a passive ability that ties into her creativity. In effect, she is open-minded (relatively speaking) to possibilities that it takes little effort to “plant” the idea in her head. She doesn't resist but she isn't capable of doing it herself. I still feel that fits with the basis that she has no magic.

This chapter has her beginning to pick up on Ruben's mental search for her. I thought it was a cool effect that tied into Ruben's father doing it on a far crueler manner at the end of the book. Sadly, that scene was also cut from this book. But, as a teaser, it has something in common with the demons from Disney's Hercules movie.

Ruben's way of speaking ties into that. She hears him clearly despite his soft voice because he projects telepathically as he speaks. Most people can't pick it up, but her receptivity to it means that he is always clear. His vocabulary is also important; as I see Ruben, he has a stale copy of Wikipedia in his head. He tries to use precise words for his situation, though they usually are longer than your average fare.

Read Sand and Blood 17: Nobody at https://fedran.com/flight-of-the-scions/chapter-17/ (subscribers)

Sand and Ash

And just a brief status update on Sand and Ash. I've gotten feedback from three of the four beta readers and integrated them with the current version on the website (version 0.7.0). As soon as I get the fourth, I'll be finishing up two more quick rounds and then sending it to the copy editor.

If all goes well, I'll have at least one copy for Wiscon, but I'm not going to hold my breath.

Not much left on those tasks: the edits and finalize the covers.

Patrons

For my patrons, I also posted the another two chapters of Sand and Bone for their viewing pleasure.

My writing is supported by patrons and donations. There are multiple ways to help, but if you like what I write please consider subscribing. All the money is going into getting these edited and released as Creative Commons books.

Sand and Blood 10, Flight of the Scions 16, and gaining powers

2016-04-20T05:00:00Z

Fedran is set at the beginning of the industrial age, when the age of magic is faltering and technology is taking its place. One of the foundations of the world is that (almost) everyone has a magical talent but the power that talent isn't that important. Most of the population doesn't have useful talents, much like the guy in Xanth who only had the ability to change his own urine different colors. Those without magic are considered to be “less than human” or developmentally challenged.

Slight spoiler in the next paragraph if you haven't read Sand and Ash.

Like many aspects in my world, magic is a evolutionary trait. It originally came as something that enhanced survival, which is why the desert folks are typically more powerful than the ones in the more civilized areas. A good example is Pahim, who can grow flowers in his hand, and Rutejìmo who can run thirty-five miles an hour, throw fireballs, always runs on a solid surface, and transfer kinetic energy easily with other members of his clan. In his culture, Rutejìmo is considered the weakest of his clan. Again Pahim, he is far and away more powerful.

The main reason is that survivability in civilized areas is a lot higher. You don't need to create walls of fire, be able to break the sound barrier, or explode people's hearts when the most struggle you have is getting to work on time.

Over time, magical talents weaken. There are powerful ones, Kanéko's father, Ronamar, is very powerful but he is also from a line of mage-knights, but for the most part, the civilized people (which are mostly white because of physical location) actually have weaker talents but sometimes more useful (such as Falkin's ability to see the profit/loss statements over everyone's head).

One way magic is evolutionary is when it manifests. In most cases, this happens during puberty. If someone has a perfectly safe and quiet life, they will manifest some talent usually based on their interests but would be relatively non-powerful. This would be Pahim's ability to grow flowers or Lily's talent to color fabric.

On the other hand, if during that time, a teenager is under duress, the resulting power will be significantly more combat or survival-related. We will see that later in Flight of the Scions.

Related to this is knowing that stress causes manifestation makes it harder to manifest. It is hard to have that “I'm going to die” when you also know “that my near-death experience will give me awesome powers!” The knowledge that you will probably survive means it isn't as life-threatening as you think which means less stress.

You may have noticed that both Rutejimo's and Desòchu's manifestations are very rapid (hours from the moment of being abandoned). This is because the clans are very good at creating powerful manifestations by watching when they were emotionally ready to “pop”, putting them in a high stress environment (abandoning in the middle of the desert happens to be the Shimusògo clan's preferred method), and setting them up to have the most powerful talents they are capable of manifesting.

They are also kept in the dark until then, without any adult even giving a head's up with the events that would happen. Even the dullest kid would realize that powers happen during the rite of passage, which is why most desert children are a bit… surprised it happen. Combine that with a sociey that won't talk about dying or sickness, kills off their elders who drink too much or abuse their spouses, and you have a situation where the children are emotionally and intellectually stunted.

Now, if Kanéko had the potential of a magical talent, this or the previous chapters (in her story) would have been the chapter where she manifested her powers. In a different world, she would have either gained some pretty decent combat powers or water-bending (to use a common phrase). But, she didn't.

Sand and Blood 10: Separation Anxiety

One of the complaints I've had about Rutejìmo as a protagonist is that he isn't the hero. He isn't the one leading the pack or making grand decisions. Instead, he is in the back struggling with guilt and questioning his decision. Of course, that stress is the final capstone of his manifesting and he finally gets to see the clan spirit, Shimusògo.

Of course, he has no clue what is going on, so he gets mocked by those who have not manifested their powers.

Read Sand and Blood 10: Separation Anxiety at https://fedran.com/sand-and-blood/chapter-10/

Flight of the Scions 16: The River

Poor Kanéko. After having her crush betray her for a ten thousand crown reward, she is lost in the middle of the woods with nowhere to go and no ability to defend herself except for her wits. And when she wakes up, she is knee deep in mud next to a river without a clue where her hunters are or how to get back to the Boar Hunt Inn.

In the original version (now in Kin-Killer), Garèo is in full-blown panic trying to find her. There were two chapters of him running back to the inn and realizing that his nemesis (Cobin) was hanging around.

Read Sand and Blood 16: The River at https://fedran.com/flight-of-the-scions/chapter-16/ (subscribers)

Patrons

For my patrons, I also posted the another chapter of Sand and Bone for their viewing pleasure.

Sand and Blood 8, Flight of the Scions 13 (again)

2016-04-06T05:00:00Z

I know I said I was going to take April off to settle a few things, but I didn't want to lose the momentum. So, I'm starting to serialize Sand and Blood starting with chapter eight since chapter one through seven were already available on my site.

Sand and Blood started quite a few years ago as a placeholder novel. Flight of the Scions was submitted somewhere and I thought I had a good chance of making it. I distracted myself by reading The Language Construction Kit and they had this neat little section about world building. Of course, the author was suggesting writing a 200-300 word story to show someone in the culture, I was just going to write a little 20k word novella showing the culture that Kanéko was missing.

Almost eighty thousand words later, I was only a third done with the story. Blood was the beginning of that journal. It isn't a “typical” fantasy in that the main character isn't the grand hero, and I found that a lot of people don't really care for it, but there are some who do.

But here we are, at the beginning (-ish).

Like Sand and Ash, these chapters are going to be released under Creative Commons and will be available for free on my site, Patreon, Ello, and Wattpad. I'm dropping Penflip and Diaspora because they really didn't produce any feedback from the last few months.

Sand and Blood 8: The Morning Sun

I really should have ended the preview at chapter eight. Everything up to this point was getting Rutejìmo in the middle of the desert. Chapter eight is when he wakes up abandoned by all of the adults (elders) of the clan and he's stuck with four others in the middle of nowhere.

The idea of this reminded me of a Japanese anime when ten students go out on a journey, but when they get there, they find out there were supposed to be only nine of them. Since the students didn't know each other before the journey, none of them knew which one was the extra and a lot of human nature came out of it. (It was also done nicely in Eureka.)

This is inspired by that story.

Read Sand and Blood 8: The Morning Sun

Flight of the Scions 13: The High Life

My “break,” as it were, comes from working on Flight of the Scions. Sand and Blood is pretty much final, complete with multiple editor runs, so I don't really have to do much other than write my thoughts. Flight, on the other hand, requires a bit of editing as I go.

I added a section into chapter thirteen that was cut. It was a sweet little scene between Garèo and Virsian as Kanéko realizes that they are actually interested in each other.

The new section starts at:

As he returned to the room, Kanéko leaned over the railing and looked down. A large garden filled the space behind the inn. It was a couple chains deep, going from the wall of the inn and reaching into the woods. From her vantage point, she could see dozens of little paths leading to dead ends filled with benches and quiet places to talk. She amused herself by tracing them with her mind.

“It is a lovely night.”

Kanéko gasped as she heard Garèo's voice from below. She ducked down and leaned on the railing to peer over the edge, her heart beating faster as she waited for him to call out to her.

Garèo and Virsian walked with arms intertwined as they headed into the gardens. The cat woman's tail swayed lazily as she spoke, the tip of it occasional tapping against the back of Garèo's leg.

In the original book, there is actually a chapter before and after this from Garèo's point of view when he is flirting with Virsian and then one with him and Maris. Neither of those are going to be in the book since they will show up for Kin-Killer if I write it.

Patrons

Sand and Ash 29, Flight of the Scions 11, suicide, and racism

2016-02-17T06:00:00Z

Okay, this is a bit of downer of a blog post. If you want cheerful, skip to the Flight of the Scions bit at the bottom.

Sand and Ash 29: His Memorial

This chapter is a bit of a wish-fulfillment among other things. As I mentioned last week, there were some parallels to the suicidal period in my past.

I still remember when I decided to go through with it. There was… a lot going on in my head. For some reason, I decided to give myself a week to find a reason not to; I believe that was the subconscious part of me that knew that I couldn't. I'm just not very good at understanding my own emotions.

For a week, I wallowed in this horrible despair. I ran through so many what-if scenarios: what would it feel like, could I do it, should I do it? And then into other questions that made me even more uncomfortable: how would others take it? I spent hours going over those scenarios, working out what I thought were the responses and putting myself into their shoes.

At one point, I remember saying “if someone just said hi, I'd stop”. They didn't. I was told to go away more times than I remember. Plus the school, in their infinite wisdom, decided to put me in class with the guy who was suspected for attacking me. But that wanting to hear the words was that irrational desire, that belief that any affection would be enough. In that week, actually the days leading up to it also, I was a nobody in the world.

I also couldn't ask for help. Depending on the person, they would mock me or dismiss my struggles. I'd hear about “you are just having a bad time” or “suck it up” or “life happens” and then I'd be shoved aside. Or, in different cases, it would be the dramatic “OMG!” that would have just made things worse. Neither situation was what I was looking for.

You know what stopped me? Compassion. I couldn't do it because I couldn't hurt others. That pacifistic nature of mine, that desire not to harm anyone, extends to emotions. Yeah, I make mistakes a hurt people (like the girl in high school who stopped talking to me because “you know the reason”; over twenty years later, I still don't know what I said that pissed her off and but it still stings when I remember it) but I couldn't intentionally harm others. Killing myself would just be one last attack, I couldn't do that to anyone.

As a side note, Hyperbole and a Half has a beautiful discussion about the same topic. I would highly recommend you read it and part two.

I think this chapter ended up being a way of talking about it. Rutejìmo got the one thing that I was looking for in that week: to know someone loved him. Not to assume it but to explicitly say it and make it so obvious it can be seen through the dark haze of depression.

Yes, Rutejìmo wasn't planning on killing himself but the parallels are there to the events when I was seventeen.

What I consider interesting is that Pidòhu saw Rutejìmo throw his voting stones away. As a protector of the valley, he knew that no adult would ever do such a thing, it was the measure of importance in the clan which meant Rutejìmo felt he no longer needed to have worth. Pidòhu's first thought was that Rutejìmo was going to kill himself. He also know that Rutejìmo wouldn't do it while Mapábyo was home, which meant the first night alone was going to be the most dangerous for someone who was ostracized among his own family and unable to speak. It was that moment, watching the rocks bounce off rocks that Pidòhu realized he had to do more than just be with Rutejìmo, he had to show it. Even if it meant breaking some rules. He was willing to do that because he loved Rutejìmo as a brother.

Chimípu, on the other hand, doesn't understand what Rutejìmo is going through. As she worked it out in Sand and Blood, she already knows she is going to die for her clan. The only way she was going to leave the world was with someone killing her. It is part of being a warrior of the clan, but the last book was her working through it and accepting it. She has faith, if you will, so suicide is something that would never occur to her.

Despite not understanding how far Rutejìmo had fallen, Chimípu still came to cave to stop Rutejìmo from leaving. She did it because she loves everyone in the clan, but there is a special place in her heart for Rutejìmo. He is her spiritual brother but she is also driven to protect him from harm, including himself. So, there was no hesitation when Pidòhu asked her to violate Tejíko's command and spend time with Rutejìmo.

Love is a powerful thing.

I know that what I'm writing about isn't the One True Answer™ for depression and suicidal thoughts. It was what I wanted when I was going through, but not what pulled me out.

Now, I realized that when I got to this point, it was probably too late. I didn't trust the people around me to ask for help. That is something that takes months and years to establish, that mistrust. Something to consider for those who suffered like I did.

Flight of the Scions 11: Stonewait's Gallery

Racism is awesome.

Actually, it's a terrible thing that I honestly don't understand. I'm not conscious of when I'm racist (or sexist or anything else -ist). I try to view each person individually and then to deal with them on an individual level.

Needless to say, I don't work well in very large groups because I can't personally know them.

It was at WisCon that I was watching a panel on racism that I realized that I was making the wrong assumptions with writing. My world was too perfect, where gender and race didn't matter in the slightest bit. I've always leaned more toward “females are awesome” but I didn't really consider race in my writing. My characters were neutral, which readers assumed to be white.

The problem is that I didn't want to have a bit character that was non-white just to show that “racism is evil”. That would be worse than just ignoring race entirely.

This world, and this story, isn't as perfect at the last one. There are little points of friction, such as this chapter where Kanéko's race is put into question, but they aren't major overarching themes. She deals with her own struggles, not having magic, with this being more of an aspect of her life.

One advantage of having the story start out in the middle of nowhere is that I can teach myself how to be explicitly racist gradually. I hate it, but it fits the world. It fits how people work together and the general attitudes people have of different races; it is realistic and, more importantly, a part of the culture I think is important.

Garèo is used to far worse slurs. In his story, Kin-Killer, he fights with a group of white supremacists and encounters a lot of friction. He is in charge of the students because he yells the hardest, but he also knows that they are going to see him as less than human because of his skin color.

The others are more interesting to me.

Maris doesn't care. People are people, she has dog ears and Kanéko has darker skin. Her father has dark ears. There isn't anything special about either. As far as she concerned, she loves everyone equally and forgives almost instantly. She's simply doesn't hang on to anything to be really racist, plus in her environment, everyone is different.

Ruben, on the other hand, is painfully aware of every tiny little detail about her. But, in the greater details involved, her skin color is nothing more than a set of values that he has collected about her. Her weight, her history, even her accent is constantly analyzed every moment he is awake. He could probably tell her how much she weighs to the gram.

Pahim… well, Pahim is the hardest to portray. He's a teenage boy, so as far as I'm concerned, he is the one who is struggling to be polite because he really wants to get into her pants. Not to mention, she's the baron's daughter, so he thinks he has a chance of getting into her pants and worming his way into her life so when she inherits her father's title, he could be a baron. (Well, not really, this culture would call Kanéko a baroness and Pahim would be the “husband of the baron”, but that's close enough for him.) So, Pahim cares and didn't like Kanéko's skin, but he is willing to push it aside for the greater goal (of getting into her pants).

My personal view of race is closer to Ruben's. We are all human, a species as a whole. Mostly the result of evolutionary forces that shapes us into a mobile ball of fat, bone, and muscle with some gray jello in our heads. Race is simply a survival trait (darker skins survive sun better, lighter handle cold and sunless areas) or an evolutionary trait to ensure the propagation of the species as a whole. There is no such thing as lesser or greater, just different values.

I hate double-standards. I don't like that someone won't treat everyone equally and I've strive to do that myself (I'm incapable of telling if I succeed though). So, that means I'm inclined to create utopias, places where these things don't matter. In Sand and Blood and the desert culture, women are treated equal across the board (so far). That equality is closer to my natural inclination, but it also removes conflict.

Happy stories don't make always make good stories.

It actually takes effort to think about racism, which is a good thing. Instead of being content to enjoy my happy world of “mostly white people,” I'm pushing to do more. Not enough according to some, but I'm still doing it.

I just don't like it.

Now, as much as I see it that way, the reality is much different than I want the world to be. Non-white and non-males (and non-cis-gendered too) are pretty much shoved down in this country. Color blindness only works if everyone does it (much like communism only works if everyone participates) but they don't.

That truth is the frustrating part. As a white male, I can't really see the true story behind racism (or most other -isms). Maybe I'll get a hint of that, but not the living it day-to-day. But, I don't want to write with that assumption that the struggles are minor things appropriate for a 45 minute episode on some TV, but at the same time, I honestly don't think I could write the full depth.

But, I feel the need to try and fail. I'm sure I'll get racism wrong. I'm confident I will get everything wrong. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to try writing it. The very fact I dislike writing it means I need write it.

Sand and Ash 22, Flight of the Scions 4, Hard Lessons, and Garèo

2015-12-30T06:00:00Z

There are a few things this week but the two chapters aren't really related to each other.

Sand and Ash 22: The Ghost

This chapter is a bridge chapter between two significant events in poor Rutejìmo's life. If we consider the stages of death as part of Rutejimo's acceptance to his new life, then this would be leading into the acceptance phase. Of course, there will be some rough points in the future, but that should be fun.

I like the idea of how the banyosiōu actually are treated in society. They are expected to do chores and deal with garbage, but no one can tell them that. So, everything is done with a subtle touch, without direct interaction.

Flight of the Scions 4: Waryoni Garèo

The fourth chapter introduces one of the more interesting characters in Flight of the Scions. Actually, Garèo ended up dominating the original version of Flight, which contributed to the struggles I had trying to trim down the 220k words of that version.

In the end, his story ended up being so significant that I couldn't remove his adventures. At the same time, I couldn't cut the novel in half either. So, I broke it into another novel called Kin-Killer. The events of Kin-Killer aren't a prequel or a sequel but events at the same time; in effect, this is the biggest reason I realized I wanted to write R5-D4 Plots.

Garèo's full story isn't going to happen in this novel. There will be bits and pieces, but Kanéko would never get the full answer because I plan on having another novel talking about his personal struggles during the same events. Will it work? I don't know, but I think it will be fun to find out.

As for the events in the chapter? Well, Kanéko tries to hide her chest filled with tools and Garèo almost catches her.