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i hate...

There is a certain someone who said something that reminded me of my own loneliness when I was in my late teens. It was painful, because I remember it so clearly, and I'm very sad that someone else is going through it. And, since they aren't really allowing conversations on said topic, I'm going to post a poem I wrote when I went through it. Okay, I wrote a lot of poetry during that time, about a books worth that someday I hope to make a real book, just because I think so many people go through it and so many people don't have someone to help them out.

i hate...

i hate this feeling
the sounds of my footsteps in puddles
and echoes down alleys i already went
through the laughing crowds

i hate being alone
seeing people not see me
others enjoying their lives
and me unable to find anyone

i hate not hearing
the laughter of friends
or the gasp of a lover
or even the roar of anger

i hate walking
moving forward endlessly
because standing still
just hurts even more

i hate the silence
fleeing it with pounding steps
moving forward to find something
trudging in that simple hunger

i hate the next step
terrified it will be in silence
feeling broken soles
and my heavy heart

i hate hope
it drives me forward
since there is light somewhere
and i must find it