This chapter talks about one of the major themes of the novel: falling in love badly. So many books have the protagonist seeing the love interest across the room and falling in love. Or has a set up that requires the hero to rescue their "one true love" from some dire fate.
This isn't one of those books.
I didn't want to write about it, I wanted to write about my own life when I didn't realize that SMWM (my wife now) was even remotely interested in me. Actually, it wasn't until months later, a disastrous Sears visit, and a fantastic Red Lobster dinner, that I actually figured it out. She pretty much had to hit me over the head with a 2x4 before I got it.
Much like Rutejìmo, I was in a dark place crawling out of a hole when I first met SMWM. I wish I could say it was love across the room, but I don't actually remember meeting her. One day, she was in my life and I went "well, damn, when did that happen?"
I didn't think I'd ever find love, so I simply gave up hoping that it was going to happen and decided to live my life. Despite me being "being myself," which is occasionally a cross between depression, being an asshole, and being obsessive compulsive, she not only fell for me (so she claims) but actually decided to hang around for almost two decades.
When I decided to write a sequel to Sand and Blood, I figured this was the perfect theme: falling in love badly. I didn't want him to be a hero, I didn't want him saving anyone, I wanted him to find someone who was willing to go after him and keep telling him "I love you" until he figured it out.