When the first Self-Published Fantasy Blog-Off came out, I was lucky to have an entry that almost made it to the next round. I always wanted Flight of the Scions to be the first entry, and because of scheduling and life, I wasn't able to enter until this year.

I was hoping to make it this year, at least to the finalist.

I didn't get even close.

Actually, it was a did not finish (DNF) by the reviewer, Kitty G Books. That stung a lot, mainly because I've worked on this novel off and on for twenty years. I've been thinking about this book for a long time, struggling to get it out and make it the best. Being told it wasn't good enough to finish hurt and it took me a while to work over those feelings to come up with something to work on in the future.

Opinions

One thing I have to make clear is that everyone has opinions about books. What works for one person, doesn't work for another. The type of writing I seek out may not be the same Kitty, or anyone else. It may not be a story for anyone else, as far as I know.

In other words, I'm glad she made her feelings clear. I hope some of the comments on the video lead to someone else trying to read it, but its one situation where I got what I need and I'm going to probably never visit that page again.

Future

Also, this isn't really a justification of why I was really “right” about the book. I wasn't. I just wasn't right for her, but I also need to treat any review at this point as signals of things I could do better in the future.

“It's not for you, Jen.”

— IT Crowd

Getting high quality reviews and critiques is hard. Finding someone who can say “why” they don't like something is important. I may not take 100% of what they say, but I do believe in listening to the multitude of voices and trying to figure out the more generic issues I can address.

Teenagers

I think it is clear between Flight of the Scions and Sand and Blood that many of my teenagers are not “good people.” I don't think they are bad, but they are frequently selfish and struggling. Why? Because that's what I saw and what I was when I was growing up.

When it came to coding, I was a prima donna. With writing, I was a big fish (in a tiny little pond, drunk on their illusions).

I was not good.

Also, teenagers don't know the world. They think they do, they are cocky and sure of themselves but they haven't hit that point where they realize they know less and less about the world the older they get.

The part I, as a reader, find interesting is that point when they realize they don't know it it all. When their entire world collapses and they are left trying to pick up the pieces.

Pacing

It is clear from both of my first two “initial” books, I have to work on pacing. Most of the DNFs that I can infer come from taking too long to get to that moment of change for the character.

The review pointed out that Kanéko didn't get to that point in the first twenty percent. For Sand and Blood, chapter eight was the point I figured most people DNFd the book.

The struggle to speeding that up is not to make it too fast. I have trouble with disbelief when someone encounters something that disagrees with their world view and they immediately make a change.

“Oh, I was racist, I shall never be racist again.”

In an Exalted game I was running, I stated ahead of time that the end of the first arc was going to be the point where the characters would exalt. Even saying that, one of the players was “oh, I'm in a fight with three Dragon-blooded, I should exalted as a Solar now!”

But it didn't make sense that a min/maxed human who had better than 80% chance of getting out of a fight would have needed the desperation and power that would come from exalting. It would have been just a “and here is my power up maneuver” not unlike Power Rangers.

As a reader, I want to that descent. I want that crash at the bottom when all things are lost. I want to enjoy that moment of desperation, of when Kanéko crawled out of the river mud and realized she was all alone. I needed that fear and struggle when Rutejìmo dropped to his knees and offered his throat as an apology.

As a writer, I don't do that quickly. I can try, but it hasn't been something I've succeeded at. I've been working on it and hope both Allegro, Nor Curse Be Found, and Second-Hand Dresses reached that point faster, but only time will tell if I succeeded.

One of my old editors told me:

It's okay not to wait until the end of the book for the groin punch.

So far, it has taken me that long to get that far. But I think it was a subtle way of saying “speed up your plot, damn it.”

Heroes

I feel the other thing that came up is that no one was a hero in the story. There were no shining examples of good and justice… anywhere in my writing, actually.

I'm thinking my world view is affecting that also. I don't like heroes and there are very few people who bravely sacrifice themselves for the greater good. I have a few, The Chosen One will be about that, but for the most part, I like my characters shaped by trauma, plagued with doubt, and struggling with inner demons.

Cover

In an earlier review, it was pretty clear Kitty didn't like my new book cover. At this point, it feels wrong myself.

Nothing I can really do about it at this point, but I don't really have the “look” of the Fedran stories down that feels right to me.

But I know what it isn't.

Thoughts

I need to change. I need to write more, make more mistakes, and listen. I'm going to try speeding up the pacing, while still trying to get to the point I crave.

Will I try SPFBO again? Probably but my expectations are going to be even lower. If this is any indication, it will take me about a decade to get Allegro or Nor Curse Be Found finished up to have it ready when the competition comes through, but I'm still going to try for it.

One of these times, I will find a book that has that “spark” that readers love.