Fear of Submission

» My Father's Bike: 0.570 (22,814 / 40,000 words)
» Wind, Bear, and Moon Query: 0.000 (0 / 26 weeks)
» Muddy Reflections Query: 0.333 (4 / 12 weeks)
» Summer Biking: 0.184 (73.4 / 400 km)

Still no writing, but I did spend most of the night updating the XSP packages for Debian with meebey's help. That felt nice, getting something done and learning a whole bunch about Debian packaging to boot.

While I did no writing, I am sitting next to a huge packet proposal for Mirrorstone. I had a choice of just a single book or proposal a series. I decided to take a risk and actually write out the entire proposal for all five books that are part of Wind, Bear, and Moon. I mean, I always wrote it with the intent of future plots and apparently four more books is what it would come out to. 70 pages later, I have a thick envelope that I desperately want to throw in a garbage can for some reason. Just sitting there.

I have no clue how to describe how nervous and scared I am to actually send it. I mean, I'm actually terrified. Fear of rejection, I guess. But, also fear that I finally got a chance to show my "writing novels" skill instead showing my "writing query letter" skills and that I'm going to blow it. I'm afraid that, given this opportunity to let my writing speak for me, that I'm not that great of a writer. I picked what I felt are the best three chapters in the novel, and yet deep down inside, I'm as frightened as a yellow electric rat in a blender.

Why am I so afraid?