Today is a much better day than most of the last week. It is always stressful when I don't get paid on time, more so when a flood of bills came in. But, I got a nice surprise when I found out I got paid today. That little bit will get me back in the black and hopefully less stressed out (and snapping at Inigo and Fluffy).

That leads into a problem I might have. I've always gone with Faith in life. "Things work out in the end." When life gets hard, it usually meant that things needed to change. The first time I quit the company (six months late on paycheck, getting one check in every three), everything opened up. I found a job in a hard market in less than two weeks for 20% more than I was making inconsistently. Like a golden road opening up, I was on comfortable street nearly instantly. And I was happy. Fluffy had the same thing with her first marriage. It was getting rough and nasty, then she decided to leave her mate and the world opened up, a friend just happened to be in the area and had his truck. Again, the path opened up for her.

Now, it's less clear. On one side, I have this loyalty that keeps me at the company, despite the bad pay. I get cranky and upset, mainly because of loyalties, but… sigh I guess she is trying to get her best to take care of us. It just doesn't happen in the way I want it to. Or I think it should be. I don't want to find a job, but I think about it when we get so far back in paychecks. Or when I see my paycheck going to one of her social affairs or the other company.

But, today I'm a bit better. Worked on CuteGod most of the night, and struggled through some writing for my commission. CuteGod is sputtering, which is frustrating because I really want to finish it. It just feels like a huge mountain, you know, when standing at the bottom or even half-way up. I'll see if the Novell thing pans out and go back to what I've done for the last year: keep on writing, keeping on programming, try to get published.

Summer Biking: (236.7 of 400.0 km)
Change of Honor (1 of 3 rounds)
Another Werewolf's Tail (1 of 3 rounds)
Commissioned Work (493 of 10,000 words)

2007-09-10