Life is about stress, and I wouldn't have it any other way. One of the biggest stresses of 2013 was the miscarriage we had in May. It was a setback to the master plan that was relatively devastating and pretty much cast the rest of the year in a pallor.

In July, we decided to try again. If you read the occasional post on my Twitter timeline, I made a few tweets that talked about the frustrations and doctor visits. We didn't start that well, she started bleeding within a few weeks and there were a number of emergency room and "we need an ultrasound tomorrow" moments. Because we were seeing shades of the miscarriage again, SMWM and I decided not to make any mention of it in case we lost another one. The odds were higher, we are both 38 and there was a good chance we were heading straight for going through it again.

Somewhere around week twenty, some of that fear had been dissipated when we were both sitting in the OB/GYN's office looking at the little boy on the screen. Her chorionic hematoma had taken about ten weeks of healing and we stopped seeing serious problems and going through those frantic hospital visits.

After that turning point, SMWM finally said I could talk about it. That was a few weeks ago (a lot had happened in the last month), so I finally get to write about it.

If you haven't figured out, we are going to have another baby. The estimated due date is around April 23rd, but it is highly likely they are going to induce earlier because they diagnosed her with gestational diabetes. The ultrasound technician said it's a boy, and it looked liked it had boy parts on the screen.

And even though she continues to lose weight during this pregnancy (just like the last one) and her blood sugars remain at a depressing 70-90s (mine averaged 106 for the last five years), failing that sugar test kicks in a whole panic engine that cannot be stopped.

The next four months are going to be an adventure. Because of fears of jinxing, SMWM doesn't want to name the little one or get too emotionally attached or go shopping until much later. I respect that, but it's just as hard not to get excited about it as I am about finishing books. (In other words, I really want to talk about it.)

2014-01-04