Content Warning for Suicide and Murder
For the twenty-third day of National Poetry Month, I have a poem about the horrors of growing up. I've written before about my suicide attempt when I was seventeen. It was a rough time, one where the feeling of being alone and constantly mocked reached a peak. This is a poem that brings some of that back, so it might not be for everyone.
One thing that was thankful was that I've pretty much always been a pacifist. The idea of even hurting someone sickened me, despite the fact that one specific had tried to run me over with his car because I was involved with his suspension (he slammed my head into a locker hard enough to cause me to bleed).
High school was really hard on me.
However, what if I wasn't that way?
Kill Them All
Endlessly mocking students Watching all my movements. Some know that I manifested And let me know I'm detested. Down the street and across the way I wish they would just go away. The hate is building inside me And I don't know of my empathy. I want to kill them every day And see the bodies I slay. My magic is already flowing And my hands are glowing. I want to kill them all My fantasies are gore and vitriol. I shouldn't and I can't. I have to show restraint. My dreams are violent But my magic is silent.