Woke up yesterday thinking about Itrifore, Fedora, both of my unpublished novels, and everything else in the world. Stress is a really crappy thing, you know?

I need to work on some resumes, mainly to create variants that won't scare the hell out of people seeing exactly how many different things I've done in my life. It's a lot, I've been a very busy beaver these last twenty years. Tomorrow, I should have a pair of development resumes (C# and web in general). And then to poke the recruiters.

This is coupled with work itself. My boss is demanding I work overtime to get something done. This is not something I'm looking forward to. One, because I'm afraid I'll burn out with 2-3 weeks of 60-80 hour work weeks to get something done. And it is the project that I feel is a complete waste of money for the last three years and killing everyone to get it done in three weeks won't change that fact. It's important to her, and from my impression, it is more important than anything else in the world right now, including paying her employees on time.

As she announced to the company:

"If you want to get paid on time, you are in the wrong company."

But, I have college to work on and I won't have the energy or time to write my papers if I'm working every damn moment of the night.

I'm getting a hankering to write again. Ponies Among Us isn't going to make it. If I'm looking and 2-3 more weeks of overtime, which means I have no creativity left to write or program, I lost any and all chance to actually complete the game on time.

This. Royally. Sucks.

Yeah, I might have no made it, but I would be willing to do overtime to try getting it at least minimally working. This is what happened last year, maybe I'm not ready to make a game yet. Well, I've been thinking about CuteGod as well. I'm going to try really hard not to get any new projects and just work on things for a while. Give up on 4E6, I mean really give up the hope and just work on little things to get them done.

I'm not going to drop Ponies though. I love the idea too much. I'll just let it get in the boiling pot of ideas and interests. That is related to Itrifore. I like the HERO system and the more I use it, the more comfortable I'm with it. And I really want to write up Fightertype world in the system; if only to make her play the game again.

This is a year of transition for me. I'm planning on it. I'm planning on quitting my job and finding a new one in efforts to be happier with my bankroll and myself. I don't want to be upset at my boss, I don't want to be this personally involved with the company and be so utterly helpless at the same time.

2008-02-03